days twelve, thirteen, and fourteen

I went out of town for the weekend, and I didn't take my computer. So a late post it is. I know for a fact that not a soul reads my blog though, so I think it's okay. 

Day Twelve: Something that you miss. 

The absolute biggest thing I miss right now is my family. Especially my siblings. It's been amazing for me to be in college, I've grown so much as a person, but I really do miss my family so much. 

Day Thirteen: Do you have any regrets? 

No regrets, only lessons learned. 

Day Fourteen: What's on your iPod? 

Lots of Mumford and Sons. Lana Del Ray. Mixes my best friend Megan made for me. (: Jack Johnson. A lot of various artists. Good music. ;) 

In other news. Tonight is the Finale if How I Met Your Mother. I'm already a mess and I haven't even watched it. 

s.e.

day eleven + ramblings

day eleven: the last book you read

the last book i read was the hundred dresses by eleanor estes. i read that on sunday when the weather was just so nice that i went and laid outside for two hours (and got sunburned). when sierra and i went to barnes and noble this semester, we came home and were just all about reading and reading and reading. she had brought a number of books with her from home so she just gave me several to read and the hundred dresses was in that pile. i hadn't ever read it before, though it appears to be a childhood staple to like...everyone. but i really loved it. would highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.

now for ramblings.

i had a really hard day yesterday. having your mission papers put on hold for medical reasons is really...it just hurts. i cried a lot. i ate nutella. i bought ice cream. my sister had sent me cookies. but nothing helped. i was just so, so sad. and i lost my contact (i think in my eye, but it still hasn't come out, almost 24 hours later). my stomach hurt. i kept crying. no one i've been talking to understands the hurt that i'm feeling, and that hurts. so i prayed. because through the atonement, Jesus Christ knows all of my sorrows.

can we just talk about how amazing that is for a second? Jesus Christ knows every single one of our pains and sorrows, and He knows exactly how to comfort us. and now let's talk about how completely under-utilized and under-rated this specific part of the atonement is. more often than not, that part hardly ever gets mentioned in any discussions of the atonement. (i completely understand why, by the way. but it makes me feel like the atonement has been labeled into parts that are most important and not that important, and i don't know...that doesn't strike me as right, but... i'm sure i could make this very topic into an entire blog post in and of itself, so i'll spare you for now.) the point i'm really trying to get at here is that (in my mind at least) because that part of the atonement doesn't get mentioned all of the time, it also doesn't get remembered all of the time. for me, there are a lot of times when i'll be sad and just want to cry, and eat chocolate anything, and watch sad movies to cry more, and take hot showers while crying, and just be alone and not talk to anyone because no one understands why i'm sad and no one can help me so i just have to get through the sadness alone.

how many times have we all fought through the sorrows and pains by ourselves because we forgot about that part of the atonement? for me, it's been a lot. pretty much every time up to this school year. it's been such a blessing for me to realize that i don't have to go through the sadness alone. it really makes things feel so much easier and lighter.

and i'm not done with the sadness that hit me yesterday. and i probably won't be for a while. a new wave of sadness washes over me every time i see someone post that they got their call. (which is a lot, because i'm in a sister missionary group on facebook...) the whole process of my mission papers has been such a trial. and right now i'm starting to wonder if i'm actually supposed to be going on a mission or if that's just something that i made myself feel because it's what i wanted to do. maybe Heavenly Father has other plans for me. and if He does, that's okay. i know that everything is going to work out how it's supposed to work out. just not in my timetable. and that is okay.

so what i want to take away from this is that it's okay to be sad. it's okay to cry. just remember you never have to go through your pains and sorrows alone. it's all going to be okay.

s.e.

day ten + sad news

day ten: daily routine

so, i'm in college. which means that every day is different, so i don't have much of a daily routine. and i'm honestly not sure anyone would even be interested in reading about it if i did have a daily routine. but here is a sort of template i try to follow.

• wake up. lay in bed in denial that morning is here already. 
• oil pulling (swishing coconut oil for 20 minutes.) followed by a good brushing of the teeth. 
• put on clothes/do hair/put on make up & all that jazz
• go to class 
• when finished with class come home, probably eat. 
• do homework. 
• watch netflix.
• talk with sierra and pamela. 
• go to bed. 

so, ya know, there's that. and for the rest of the blog post...my sad news. 

so my mission papers (that i was so ecstatic to have had turned in? yeahh) have officially been put on hold due to medical reasons. i have to go see a urologist to see if i just pass a lot of kidney stones, or if there's actually some serious and real issues with my kidney. so, you know. that should be fun. been crying for the last 30 minutes. will be crying for the next few weeks. 

this is so hard. 

s.e.

day nine

day nine: what's on your bucket list?

i feel like i have really long responses to all of these prompts. my bucket list is pretty extensive, so i'll just share a few of the things.

• go skydiving (outdoors, i've been indoors and it was amazing. so i need to experience outdoors.)
• go bungee jumping 
• have a paint fight 
• travel everywhere (seriously everywhere...i have an extensive travel bucket list.) 
• become an extremely well read person (i have an extensive book bucket list as well.) 
• get married/have my own family 
• have a harry potter marathon with themed food! (also, have lots of other movie marathons.. lord of the rings.. pirates of the caribbean... disney marathon... i think you get the point.)

honestly...most of my bucket list is travel-related. and i could spend forever listing out every single place i want to go. but i don't have the time for that, and i'm sure you don't have the time to read that. so maybe that's a post for another time. 

on another note. MY BEST FRIEND GOT HER MISSION CALL!! sierra got her mission call today!! she's opening it tonight at 8:30 and i'm ecstatic for her (also jealous that she gets to open hers tonight...but mostly ecstatic.) she's going to be amazing! more later. 

s.e.

day eight

day eight: what is your biggest pet peeve?

hmmm....this is a tough one. i happen to be one of those people with soo many pet peeves.

i think my number one pet peeve is when people mispronounce/misspell my name. because i am convinced that it's really not that hard of a name. it's a weird one, yeah, not very common. but it's not difficult! there are only 8 letters, it's pretty much pronounced how it's spelled and vice versa. really. it shouldn't be that difficult for people. but i swear no one can pronounce or spell it right the first time.

we'll keep this one short, or it'll turn into a crazy rant, and we probably don't want that...

have a lovely day!

s.e.

bonus post: happy news

guys! remember how a little while ago i wrote about how i just wanted my mission papers to go in {i haven't gone back to read it, but i'm sure i was whining and complaining...}

anyway.

MY MISSION PAPERS ARE IN! finally. as of four days ago. so i'm hoping that i'll have a call by next wednesday! {fingers crossed and whatnot} it was such a long journey to get to this point, but i am beyond ecstatic that i will soon find out where i will be serving for 18 months, sharing the gospel with people. seriously. so. ecstatic. and so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity.

you may resume your lives as i continue to celebrate the fact that my papers are in.

s.e.

days four, five, six, and seven

i am sorry, i am so, so sorry. the weekend got the best of me, and i didn't get around to keeping up with my blog challenge. so four in one, yeah? good.

day four: best childhood memory

i think some of my best childhood memories are just when my siblings and i would be playing ridiculous video games on our game cube in our basement, laughing until we cried. because everything was so ridiculously funny. and this still happens from time to time. i have the best siblings. i love them so much, you have no idea.

day five: favorite movies you never get sick of watching

• movies with will ferrell (anchorman, blades of glory, talladega nights, etc.) 
• zoolander 
• the titanic 
• the breakfast club (or really any old 80s movie. they're fantastic)
• any marvel movies 
• a little bit of heaven
• anything and everything disney 
• anything with sandra bullock (the proposal, while you were sleeping, miss congeniality, etc.)
• harry potter movies 
• lord of the rings/the hobbit movies 
• dr. horrible's sing-along blog

there's really a ton more, but i can't think of what they are at the moment. but i love movies. so much. 

day six: your last random act of kindness

i just left my friend kaylie a little note, because i saw that she was having a rough day. :)

day seven: what's your dream job?

i'm sure if i knew what my dream job was, then i would know what i wanted to major in... (cue the stress that inevitably comes with not knowing what one is doing with life..) i think photographer. but i mean, really, the real dream is to marry tom hiddleston, and you know he can provide for us. so i can just travel and just hang out and just be. you know? how perfect would that be? hahaha

okay, so here's why i didn't get around to posting this weekend. (i had a solid weekend, guys.)
friday: i had to go to a concert as homework for my guitar class, then i came home and sierra had made dinner and we watched moulin rouge. which is a perfect movie. watch it.
saturday: pamela and i had to wake up early to go to do some service, to get homework done. we went and cleaned up some horse poop. yum. then came home and showered. then went to cafe rio and iceberg for salad and a nutella shake (respectively). came home again, took a nap. then i had to go to another concert (we are the strike -- seriously, look them up. they're gold.) came home, went to bed.
sunday: went to church. layed in the sun and successfully got my first sunburn of the year (in march guys. what?!) on the back of my knees. so really painful. came inside. took a nap. drake came over and made us korean food, so i helped prepare a bit.. went to a neighbor's to eat cake. went to bed.

so, see, solid weekend. it was fun. so much good food. and on that note, i hope you have a lovely monday/week.

s.e.

day three

day three: what makes you happy?

{guys, this is a beautiful topic for today. i needed it so much. because today i am stressed and pretty much the farthest from happy you can get. so really. i needed this.}

• music!! playing my guitar, singing, listening to it... all of it, i just really freaking love music, okay?! lately i've been listening to a lot of the beatles, billy joel, and the proclaimers. {guys. the proclaimers are fantastic. totally underrated. go listen to them. because really, very fantastic.}
• pinteresting -- i am addicted to pinterest, and it brings me so much joy! 
• sherlockkkkkkk. he's mah holmie. but really, the bbc show is just so amazing. benedict cumberbatch and martin freeman are flawless. also, i really love amanda abbington. guys. the cast is amazing. okay? it's my favorite. 
• doctor who. having a bad day? just watch an episode {or five} of doctor who, and you'll feel better. also, the doctors are all amazing. but the feels. oh my gosh. so many. 
• the office. {i might have a bit of a netflixing problem...} the office is hilarious. i want to marry jim halpert so bad. he's perfect. 
• how i met your mother. because colbie smulders, alyson hannigan, jason segal, jason radnor, and freaking neil patrick harris. nph is mah favorite. 
• tom hiddleston -- pictures of him, gifs of him, watching interviews he's done on youtube, listening to him sing. seriously. tom hiddleston is the dang perfect man. i love him so much. i'm pretty sure he's my soulmate. and that's why i'm never getting married. because my soul mate is 14 years older than me, living in england, and famous. {sobs}
• benedict cumberbatch -- same things as with mah boy tom. :) 
• sierra! sierra makes me really happy. she's the best. 
• and pamela! my best friends are seriously the best best friends anyone could ever ask for. 
• also megan! seriously. my best friends are amazing and wonderful. 
• books make me really ridiculously happy as well. 
• blogging makes me happy, even though i'm not very good at it. 

okay, there's a lot of other things that make me happy. but i think this list is going to be enough for the day. 

so my friends: what makes you happy?

--S.E.

day two

day two: favorite quotes

i have a lot of favorite quotations, so i really shouldn't bother you with all of them. but here are a few.

• "not all those who wander are lost." --j.r.r. tolkein 
• "i guess if you're going to have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen. you have to have it when they don't." --this was from an episode of supernatural 
• "i think it's very healthy to spend time alone. you need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person." --oscar wilde 
• "if nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life." --pablo neruda 
• "never give up on anyone. and that includes giving up on yourself." --dieter f. uchtdorf 
• "don't you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness you are." 
• "when you do something beautiful and nobody notices, do not be sad. for the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps." --john lennon 
• "sometimes i'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it wants. the way it stops and starts." --edgar allen poe 
• "and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." --the beatles 
• "it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." --e.e. cummings 

okay, so there are a few of my favorites! trust me though, there are so many more. i love quotes! so much. but i need to go clean my apartment now -- our drip pans are awful, and we have cleaning checks tomorrow. like serious, hard cleaning checks. wish us luck. 

--S.E.

day one

my roommate/best friend/boyfriend/soul mate sierra (rick) told me that i never update my blog. which is pretty darn true. and i really want to be better about that. like i want to be like john watson with my blog. because he's awesome. also, he's played by martin freeman who is just dang perfect. enough of that rant.

so.

i am starting a 31 day blog challenge. in the middle of the month. because if i don't start now then i know that i never will.

day one: self portrait and five random facts about yourself

{this is me in hawaii with the biggest snow cone of my life.} 

1. i like to pretend that i'm a musician... i have a guitar and i sing. i don't sing seriously anymore, and that kills me every day, i miss it so much. but i dang love playing my guitar and singing {ALONE} because it is such a great release. very therapeutic and whatnot. 
2. i love to travel. i want to travel everywhere. i've gone to australia, new zealand, and hawaii. but i need to do more traveling. it is seriously the greatest thing ever. i have a restless heart and am a hopeless wanderer. 
3. i love to read. but i have a hard time finding the time to read while in college, which is super depressing. i have a book bucket list, books to read throughout my life. and i've planned a "book binge" for the summer. i don't know how much time i'm going to have to read in the summer though, because i don't know when i'll report for my mission! 
4. snow cones are my absolute favorite. i crave them year round, and it's especially bad in the summer for obvious reasons. but really. they're delicious. i could eat them all day every day. the best is coconut + vanilla. 
5. i have turned into a super geek since coming to college. {thank you, rick. you suck.} i am currently obsessed with sherlock, doctor who, the avengers, all marvel movies, dr. horrible's sing-along-blog {actually, adam gets blamed for this one since he's the one that planted the idea in my head}, supernatural, all things tom hiddleston and benedict cumberbatch, and the office. i also have on my list to watch: firefly, charmed, buffy the vampire slayer, merlin, as well as a handful of other things. it's bad. and i have no willpower. in other news: BBC has taken over my life, and has crushed my heart and soul. i'm  never getting over the emotional damage inflicted upon me by the beeb... 

so there you have it. day one: complete. 

--S.E.

trials and appreciation

so i've been having a bit of a hard time latley. my mission papers were supposed to go in on february 9, over a month later and they still aren't in. it's really just been a very frustrating thing, and people feel bad but they don't understand what it's like to be the one who is going through it. i never thought i would be the one going through it, because i got my papers finished in december, all of my medical stuff done in january, so i should have been in the clear to get everything turned in by february 9. but things have just kept going wrong, and not even really wrong, because i'm sure that this is exactly what the Lord wants for me. it's just been a frustrating process.

anyway, the point that i'm really trying to make now is that everything is going to be okay! if everything goes right, my papers should be in by the end of this week. {fingers crossed} i was scrolling on facebook this morning and two people on my newsfeed shared some pictures that i had desperately been needing, and i would like to share them now. 

the pictures really go hand in hand with each other. so i guess what i really want to say right now is that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know, love, and cherish you. they want what's best for you. they have a time table for you. they can comfort you when you're having hard times, or you're feeling frustrated. they love everyone so much. we are all CHILDREN OF GOD. we all have divine potential. and we all have help along the way to finding ourselves, our potentials. 

i know that my mission papers are going in soon, and you would not believe how much comfort i have felt throughout the process of finally getting them in. i know that there was a reason for my papers not going in when i wanted them to. and because of this trial, i am going to appreciate it so much more when my papers finally do go in..and when i have my call in my hand..and when i report to the mtc..and when i get to the field to share the message of the Gospel of Christ with the people where i will be called to serve. and i can't wait. 

--S.E.